Frustrating

Its so frustrating and sad that I can't help myself. I know whats going on and everything, but I still couldn't make a move. I searched, read about how to be motivate and all, but back in my mind, I still don't feel it. I know the spark in my life has died. And I seriously don't know what to do. I talked to B, but I thing its just useless. Because she seems don't understand or don't even care or don't know how to react. Want to talk to F or N, but there are not here, the present life. They having their own life, their own problems and I don't feel like to bother them. Maybe this is the time for me to learn how to handle everything on my own. Without others' advise, without their decision/voice, without their guidelines. This is the time for me to be responsible for my own life and actions. But I don't think I know what to do. I don't think I can without the help of others. I'm not sure. I want to write "I give up" but I know I can't.