Why do I even start this?

I started thinking its easy, like learning during my undergraduate study. But I forgot the hard phase of FYP and ETP, and I forgot I survived ug year because I've many amazing&supportive friends at that moment. I started this thinking to be given another chance or another year to be able to have grip on my life/myself. The opportunity to rebuild myself. I started this because I believe this is the path that made easy by Him, despite all other option going on. (or maybe because I did all the necessary things, so I managed to get into this. Not sure) I started because I thought I manage to do it, even when having a job (so taking as part time master). But I forgot that I'm not as dedicated and discipline as Nisa, I'm not as eager and passion as Fanla. But I'm also forgot that my strength is to keep going no matter what happen. I believe I can do this by the correct way. I will.




Wow, I feel like a productive person sitting here but truth is no progress since 2.30pm. Already sit here around 2 hours, but I get nothing. Else than some random blogging, searching few websites (but not read it yet), a messed up table and socmed updates. I seriously need to improve my situation.

Master: Research or Flow

Its been 9 months already. And the truth is I don't have any progress on my research. It just happen I passed my RPD and sv evaluation. I don't know much about the project, and I seriously do nothing on the simulation part. Even worse, I don't understand a thing on how to do it. Biggest problem is I want to do it but I just don't do it. Lack of will I guess. I'm so lucky to pass, and I'm so lucky to be given more time for BAPC. But, I still accumulate all things at the end of the day. I think I have time, but actually I'm not. Hating myself because of this will not bring any benefit. It will just stress me more. I know I can do anything to change this situation, but I just don't want to.
**oh, lari tajuk sat. last weekend jumpa azzam azzim n geng. I realized there's lot of people concern and love me. Just sometimes they didn't show directly. I'm blessed and thankful for that.
Back to title, I don't have any idea in my mind about my research. All fills with unnecessary thing which kinda important but nope. I focus on my life, the kpop things and others. I forget the most important thing at the moment, which is my research and the money that I get because of it. One thing I know very clear is I want to finish this with sincere efforts (no more lying and plagiarism) and I will graduate and convo by next year. I will finish what I started. The hope will never die. I hope so..